The profoundness of this simple statement stuns me because generally speaking it is me. It's my perception of a situation that is the problem rather than the situation itself.
The other day I interjected myself into a meeting because I knew one of the attendees. I went in during the introductions and said hello and asked how it was going. They didn't pay much of any attention to me, and initially I allowed my ego to jump in. I walked away thinking, what a jerk, he hardly said hello and barely looked at me. I walked down the hall mumbling to myself and feeling badly in an overly dramatic way. But then I stopped and realized everything was in my head. It was me, not him. What response did I expect arriving at the start of a meeting to say hello to someone that wasn't expecting me? We apply our interpretation to every interaction and I suspect we are generally wrong. It's not about us.
I recently started working for a new organization where I am likely the least important person on the team. I am the person everyone is thinking the least about. Nobody is thinking about what they can do to advance my career or position me for a powerful position on the team. I am there to deliver a small piece of work and nothing more. The business isn't there to ensure I have a good time and pay my bills. In the end, whatever happens there is on me and anything that happens will be based upon what I deliver.
Stoicism says that we need to strive to understand what is under our control and what is out of our control and then to apply our energy to the former. If we apply our energy to what we can't control, we are wasting our lives. If we walk around expecting something from the world, we will be disappointed more times than not. If we work on those things actually within our power, and apply our will, we can achieve much. Be well.
